From back stroke to butterfly: Phelps's swimming supremacy

The reign of Michael Jordan is ancient history. Roger Federer is slowly giving way to Rafael Nadal. Padraig Harrington is basking in Tiger-less glory as Woods waits helplessly on the PGA’s PUP list. Looking for clear-cut dominance in the mean time? Perhaps for the next two and a half weeks? Dive into the pools of Beijing and you’ll find it. His name, of course is Michael Phelps.

The 23 year-old from Baltimore entered the week looking to make history, setting a mere eight gold medals as his personal goal. So far, he’s yet to disappoint, going 3-for-3, setting world records each time his hands have reached the pool’s edge.

Calling him a gamer would be like calling Jessica Alba pretty. But apparently, those paid to comment on his mastery care more about an Aaron Rogers preseason screen pass than a man 14 time zones away representing their country: The United States of America.

This morning I turned on ESPN’s First Take as I ate my bowl of Crispix at the kitchen table. First question: Are you impressed with Michael Phelps?

I nearly spit out my crushed cereal/milk mixture. Is that even worth asking? What sports writer wouldn’t enjoy 6-foot-4 inches, 195 pounds of pure American muscle speeding past international foes like a porpoise among tuna?

Apparently three: All three on the show.

“Yeah, I guess I’m impressed,” said one of the Stewart brothers. “But at the end of the day, it’s just swimming. It’s not baseball, basketball, or football, so I can’t get too excited.” His brother sitting beside him agreed.

Since when was “sports” limited to those three games? And why are you a “sports” writer if you don’t even appreciate sport at its finest?

For 47 months out of every four years, I – like 99.9 percent of US sports fans – could care less about any event that requires one to surface for air. Scratch that, under normal circumstances, I’m still not going to lose sleep over who wins the 400 meter freestyle, but these aren’t normal circumstances by any means. And I can certainly appreciate an American athlete with the determination and ability to conquer his sport in all fashions to the point that I’d call it “impressive” (which would still be a vast understatement).

Swimming requires everything a sport should: Endurance, athleticism, agility, and speed. Ever swim 50 meters of butterfly? Maybe you’ll appreciate Phelps a little more.

After I was ready throw my spoon at the television, Skip Bayless offered his two sense: “I couldn’t agree with you guys any more.” Bayless went on to explain that swimming is like a cult in which few kids partake growing up, making the pool (no pun intended) of athletes far less talented than that of say, basketball, thus making Phelps’s accomplishments well, mediocre.

So Brian Urlacher’s linebacker skills are less impressive because he doesn’t have to tackle LeBron James because The King decided to pursue the parquet and not the gridiron? Didn’t think so.

I’m not trying to put swimming at the level of the three above-mentioned sports. But this is the Olympics. Why watch if you only care about the Redeem Team? For three weeks, we get to watch fencing, gymnastics, and badminton as if we actually care. And you know what, it’s fun, if you actually like sports and real competition. These athletes compete not for money, but for love of the game. They train endlessly for four years for a brief chance to take on the world’s best. Who doesn’t appreciate that?

We marveled over Lance Armstrong and his dominance of the Tour de France. Why, because we were all cycling junkies? How are Phelps’s achievements any different?

So Skip and friends, if you want to discuss Brett Favre text messages and Jessica Simpson luxury box visits, that’s fine, but go write for Star Magazine. In the mean time, I’ll be watching real athletic competition, like Dara Torres’s immortality and Phelps’s quest for golds.