Diarrhea of the Mind, Episode 3: Clearly Being Productive at Work

Definitely can't continue this when I start my full-time job in eight weeks.

Thinking about changing this column name to “Cubicle Relief,” but gonna stick with DOM for now.

The more I try to eat healthy and stay in shape (not that I couldn’t lose a few pounds, but at least the effort is there), the more I realize the obesity epidemic in the United States, especially in the state of Wisconsin. Last night was bacon night at a bar called Wando’s on University Ave. in Madison. You’ve got literally obese people eating mounds of bacon, slurping down Miller Lites at midnight, a few hours after they put down a couple bratwursts and beers for dinner, probably followed by some frozen custard for dessert. It’s actually disgusting. Look around; you’ll notice it if you begin to remotely look for it. Go to Europe and you don’t see that kind of nasty shit.

Good talkin’ NBA basketball with Pat Sofen at Wando’s last night, who got to experience all three Finals games in Boston as well as a Red Sox game at Fenway all for the first time. Good to know he enjoyed the city. Unfortunately he’s been working for the Lakers for a few years now. Thankfully he only modestly rubbed it in my face while we were slurping (that’s a mild verb for what was actually happening) a fishbowl at the bar.

Monster shoutout to my longtime friend Ben Camiel after his bone marrow transplant. Kid’s tough as nails. Stay up, my man, we’re all pullin’ for you.

Shoutout to Henry Aschauer – one of my roommates in Prague – for waking me up at 3am, almost breaking my bed, just to say goodbye. Have a safe trip home kid. We’ll go heli skiing together before 2017 for sure.

Mark my words: Yanni Hufnagel will be a Division I NCAA basketball coach before 2018. Just remember that you heard it here first.

Wow, people in Detroit are actually miserable. I’ve been calling that area for work for a few hours now, and either the number doesn’t exist anymore, or people have no interest in a FREE service that could help their businesses. It’s actually pretty sad.

OK so I think I’ve got it figured out. LeBron and Chris Bosh go to Chicago. Amare and Joe Johnson go to New York and wait for Carmelo to come a year from now. Pierce, Ray Allen and Doc Rivers re-sign with the Celtics. But who plays with D-Wade in Miami? Dirk? Nah, he’s staying in Dallas with my boy Mark Cuban. Shit…

But if the Nets move to Brooklyn, LeBron has to play there. God damn it.

Will Uncle Eric join me to shred pow in Chile next month? Tik, tok, tik, tok [insert Jeopardy theme music here].

Shoutout to longtime friends Jeremy and Alex Hyman on their journey to see all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums this summer. Check out their blog here. Too bad I’m going to be home while they’re in Milwaukee and Chicago.

Another shoutout to longtime friend Mike “Mikey V” Vinci doin’ his radio thing in Ithaca, N.Y. Kid’s as motivated as anyone I know (behind Yanni, that is).

Can’t wait for Entourage Sunday.

Gotta have a going away party in August. Wanna go back to New York one more time. Gotta book this flight to Santiago, Chile. Most important of all, gotta get an apartment sometime in the next 25 days.

This is how my brain works. I know I’m fucking crazy.