Derek has written for NESN.com, The Badger Herald, The Metrowest Daily News, Uwire.com and SportingNews.com. Email him at dzetlin@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter at @derekzetlin.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wrong place for roster link
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
My Kobe-LeBron dilemma

Had you asked me who I thought was better, Kobe or LeBron, I'd say LeBron, by a slim margin. I also think the Cavs will win the NBA Championship next month. But take both Kobe and LeBron off of their respective teams, I'd say the Lakers would beat the Cavs, pretty handily. Therefore, I must think LeBron is that much better than Kobe. Right?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Adam Carolla's marketing quandary

You remember the picture of Phelps ripping the bong at a University of South Carolina party. Some asshole obviously took the picture and sold it to some bullshit celebrity gossip site for who knows how much money. That site subsequently received a trillion and a half hits, made a fortune on ad revenue and went on with their bush league business.
Consider this, brought up by Carolla. Say I own a sporting goods store. I take a picture of Phelps walking down the street in a Nike sweat suit. I blow up the picture and stick it in the Nike section of my store to sell more attire. Obviously this wouldn't fly; you can't profit off someone else's face without their official endorsement. Surely Phelps should get compensation for my use of his picture. That's a business no-brainer.
Then why can tmz.com (or whoever leaked the Phelps photo) profit off his un-endorsed pot-smoking picture?
Same concept, right?
Friday, May 15, 2009
My multimedia doors are always open
Combining Twitter and my blog
Happy birthday, blog
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Hate the players, not the game

It’s called denial; love is blind. Deep down, he knows it’s true, but he continues to tell himself otherwise, until the line between reality and fabrication becomes more blurred than Paris Hilton’s vision after a night on the “job.”
I’m the latest culprit. Embarrassingly so.
I knew everyone took steroids. It was like pot in the 60s, coke in the 80s; it was just accepted, at least behind closed (bathroom stall) doors. Not everyone did it, but I was convinced 75 percent of Major Leaguers at least tasted the forbidden juice at some point between 1995 and 2005. I knew the truth, just couldn’t come to grips with reality. I read Canseco’s Juiced, but unlike R Kelly, my mind was telling me yes but my body was telling me no. Canseco was a scumbag for ratting out his is fellow roiders to turn a profit, which was why it was so hard to believe him, even though deep down we all knew McGwire, Sosa, Palmeiro, Bonds, Clemens, [insert superstar’s name here] were guilty of our Pastime’s version of treason.
Just not A-Rod. And Not Manny. They were the naturals. They didn’t need that extra pop. Rodriguez could have hit 50 dingers at scrawny age 19 and Ramirez was hitting October changeups off his shoe tops into the Wrigley bleachers with his eyes closed because he’s just that good. Right? Right? Anybody?
Wrong. The worst parts about this are that A) I’m not that surprised, meaning, B) We all know this is probably Chapter 3 of what could be a double-digit-chapter novel. So who’s next? Pujols? Howard? Pedro? Griffey? Nomar? Ortiz? Would any shock you at this point?
I shutter to think.
I wanted that 2004 Red Sox team to be totally clean; a lone bright spot in a black hole cluttered with cheaters, liars and users. That team changed lives, gave hope to a town labeled “Loserville” for over eight decades. Now what?
Ted Williams is thawing in his frozen grave.
This isn’t about one team, one player or one person. As much as I’d like to blame Bud Selig for turning his head and creating this mess, I can’t do that, either. It’s not Selig or Scott Boras’s fault. Play the blame game as much as you like, but when the dust settles, you have no choice but to turn your fingers around and point them at No. 13. And No. 99. And 22. And 25. And about 103 or so more to come. This is about the players. A generation of money-, number-loving athletes who shoved integrity aside in pursuit of extra digits (both in Benjamins and stat columns), en route to that Hall in upstate
At the end of the day, only one word can describe this so-called Steroid Era: sad. Sad for the fans. Sad for the helpless, feeble commissioner. Sad for the owners and management. But most of all, sad for the players, the role models who cheated to turn $100 million contracts into 200 and 25 homers into 50.
How this era will be remembered in 20 years is yet to be seen. But whatever happens between now and then, I will no longer be surprised. I’m done being naïve.
You should be too.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Another personal shoutout
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I've conformed, sort of
But last week I signed up. After all, I need to keep up with my fellow Websters (a made up Zetism, not the dictionary) if I want to make it in this worldwide world. Just having a blog (or two) is so Web 1.0 (I read that in the new book I'm reading, Wikinomics, I highly recommend it). Don't get your hopes up; I won't be tweeting "in the shower" or "I hate finals." Instead I'll be posting my favorite articles from around the Net, all the while adding some hopefully-clever tidbits along the way.
So if you're interested, follow derekzetlin. Enjoy.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Lions' love for Stafford continues Millen tradition

Ever since that infamous deal back in February, I always thought, “Why didn’t the Lions give New England the 33rd pick for
Instead the Pats got No. 33 from K.C. and
Before officially selecting their future Saturday afternoon, the Lions signed
Call them even (which they’re not, but do it for argument’s sake). The Lions end up with an unproven rookie quarterback and an undersized safety who played in the MAC (that was not a shot at the MAC, well, sort of, but only because I witnessed worthless ty groomed by (arguably) the best, Vrabel and the No. 1 overall pick, which of course they’d have to trade for a handful of lesser (call them “value picks (which they desperately need) because they wouldn’t be able to pay both Cassel and Mr. No. 1 Overall. Doesn’t that make so much more sense?
The only reason it doesn’t is if
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Hidden incentive to lose?
We're in the midst of college basketball's so-called Championship Week. Among other things, it serves as a last chance for the season's biggest underachievers to earn a last-minute bid to the Big Dance. Of course, a conference tournament championship of any variety gives a team a ticket to participate in the annual Madness, whether you're East Tennessee State, Radford or VCU.
Or Cleveland State, who beat Horizon League No. 1-seeded Butler, 57-54 last night. Butler is a team that's been consistently among the nation's Top 25 for the past few years. But like Conference USA's Memphis, the Dawgs get annual criticism for playing in a weak conference. Needless to say, both the Tigers and Bulldogs are in bracketology's safe haven, for even if they fail to win their respective conference tournaments -- which the Bulldogs did -- they each will surely receive automatic tournament bids.
Sure, a conference tourny trophy will boost each of their resumes and subsequently raise their tournament seeds. But honestly, what's the different between a five and a six-seed? Or a two and a three? Not much.
Instead, it seems as if both teams have more to gain in the long run from losing than racking up another seemingly meaningless victory in the eyes of the national media. For if Cleveland State makes an unforeseen Sweet 16 run, it will help recruiting in the long run and thus bolster the future of the Horizon League, while Butler loses nothing in the meantime.
Think about it: Memphis has all but locked up a tournament two-seed, but will need some serious help to snag a No. 1. If it were to throw the C-USA final to, say, Tulsa, what does it have to lose? Tulsa would then receive an automatic bid, the conference would get an extra ticket to the Dance and subsequently look that much deeper, and Memphis is still the No. 2 seed in the East Regional.
Not exactly a scandal of Black Sox magnitude. But I thought it was worth noting.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
In Bill We (must) Trust (again)
But after going 10-5 as a starter his stock was at all-time high, as his contract expired soon after the Pats failed to make January’s playoffs. Now he’s a proven commodity; his upside is higher than the sum of fans at a Bob Marley concert, perhaps one day landing his induction into the
Yes, but no. Beckett Magazine could say that your signed Michael Jordan rookie card is worth $6,250. But if everyone knows you’re late on your mortgage, you’re not going to get 100 cents on the dollar. On paper,
Prior to franchising
We’ve seen this happen before. Bob Kraft’s Dynasty has been built with emotions shoved aside. They said “Bon voyage” to fan favorites Ty Law, Adam Vinatieri, Willie McGinest, Deion Branch, Milloy, the list goes on. Each time there was an outrage among Patriot Nation, the consensus being that the team could not stay afloat without each “essential” piece. How’d that turn out?
The Dynasty was built from within, on high-round, high-yielding draft picks. Richard Seymour (1st round), Vince Wilfork (1), Ty Warren (1), Logan Mankins (1), Jerod Mayo (1), Matt Light (2) and of course Tom Brady in the 6th. Now the Pats have four picks in the first two rounds next month. Suddenly kissing the depreciating 33-year-old former
The Patriots have dominated this decade based largely on so-called “suspect” moves on the part of Belichick and Pioli. Now they’re doing business with each other. But make no mistake; this transaction was by no means a conspiracy – contrary to what Jay Mariotti may say. This was simply business as usual for BB. Of course, only time will tell how much he’ll miss is former running mate. Until then, In Bill and Brady We Trust. Would you feel comfortable if it were anyone else?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Headed overseas
A bit of a different look for me, but should be fun nonetheless.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tek won't make the switch from switch
Me, I’m no expert, either. Perhaps a budding expert in the realm of Wisconsin football, but only because I was the beat writer, not merely because I’ve watched every game and discussed them at every local bar since setting foot in Madison two and a half years ago.
No, I’m no Red Sox expert, just a fan. But I do know one thing. I have a keen sense for moronic suggestions. It can’t tell the difference from certain aromas, but my nose can detect ignorance from quite a distance. So allow me to clear one thing up, something that’s been bothering me for a few days now.
During my infrequent visits home to the Northeast, I enjoy listening to WEEI sports talk radio. Sometimes callers make decent, head nod-worthy points, but most of the time the nodding comes of the horizontal variety on my part. Especially when it comes to recent Jason Varitek talks.
No, this isn’t another Scott Boras barrage and I’m not campaigning for the Sox to resign their captain – although I think they should. This is specifically about his hitting.
After batting a dismal .220 last season, many fans believe Captain Tek should strictly bat from the right side and forgo the trade of switch hitting. He has, of course, consistently had a higher batting average from the right side of the plate during his career, so why not make the switch from switch? After all, then “he would only have to focus on one side,” I’ve heard. Sounds easy enough, right?
Right. The guy’s been switch hitting since before his days at Georgia Tech with Nomah. He hasn’t seen a curveball or slider break away from him since grade school. Changeups have consistently tailed away from – not toward him for decades.
Varitek may or may not be donned in a
Strictly batting righty wouldn’t make things easier for Tek, it would be putting the training wheels back on at the tail end of a storied, two-ring career.
Come on Sox Nation, you should know better than that.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Deep into my archives
Big Ten Media Day 2008 Coverage:
Unanswered questions, unfinished business
Spread invades Big Ten
Columns:
Quick tips for incoming frosh
Zetlin ponders NBA 'what ifs?' (in no way trying to emulate Bill Simmons)
Sports not life or death, unlike Iraq
Kickers provide serious concern
Madison in need of baseball team
Keys to Badgers' football success
Fans can't forget life before Curry
Stop whining, just win games
No more waiting: It's madness time
Attention: Beware of Ryan's Badgers
IU team sends wrong message
Sports' bad boys need punishing
Butch should play more down stretch
Line dominance wins NFL games
Play of Hughes vital for success
Identity needed over offseason
Tiger over Federer in best-ever debate
Spring 2008 Football Coverage:
Starting quarterback job still up in air
Fans get first look at UW
Injured starters give chance for reserves
Receiver spots wide open
Badgers kick off spring practices
Football Features:
Too much of a good thing?
Big men on campus
Under the radar
Kohl Center Feature:
Converting the Kohl
Gridiron Columns (College Football 2007):
BCS Top 2 intact; who's No. 3?
Cinderellas fly under national radar
Senior quarterbacks show potential
USC loss keeps upset train rolling
The year of the upset
Next in line shine under spotlight
Men's Basketball Coverage (Fall 2007):
UW takes Youth Classic
Volleyball News:
UW to host 2007 regionals
Women's Basketball Coverage (2006-07):
Anderson gets last laugh over WKU's Kelly
Stone reaches UW status
Comeback kids: UW erases deficit to win
UW avoids 'one and done' week to advance to WNIT quarterfinals
UW looks to calm Wildcats
No rust in Badgers' WNIT victory
UW says goodbye to tournament bye
No vacation for Wisconsin
41's wild: Anderson, Purdue's Gearlds have day
Tale of 2 games: UW defeats IU
Home at last: UW returns to Kohl Center
Promotion draws big crowd, energy
Pendulum swings Badgers way
Stone raises roof
Buckeyes seek to hold onto Big Ten supremacy
UW foes not too close comfort
Great Dane! UW blows out Albany
Unified Badgers off to hottest start under coach Stone
Stone relying on talented rookies
Badgers rebound against Kansas
'Team Unity' has new feeling in young season
Badgers buck Broncos in nail-biter
Badgers relying on freshman class
Badgers relying on 8 freshmen
Women's Basketball Features:
Money in the 'Banks' for UW
Wisconsin's short but sweet freshman
Women's Hockey Feature (Fall 2006):
Sextet of freshman skaters excel early
Monday, December 29, 2008
Somtimes that's just the way it goes
But in the spirit of the gift-giving season, let’s not be brats of the spoiled variety.
Yesterday the Patriots became the first 11-5 team to be playing golf pre-postseason since the NFL developed its 12-team system. It came down to the fourth tiebreaker on two separate occasions for the Pats to be sent home before the New Year for the first time since 2002. Their conference record fell one game short of both the Dolphins and the Ravens, which is why both rookie coach-led teams will be continuing their seasons next week.
Unlucky? Sure. But unfair? Don’t be such a homer.
For once, luck wasn’t on the Patriots’ side. Remember 2001 when David Patten was virtually unconscious on the red a bit of leprechaun-like charms.
With three games left in the 2008 season, the Pats sat at 8-5 and yet didn’t control their own playoff destiny – as we saw. But make no mistake, it wasn’t all because of black cat luck and it certainly wasn’t because of a tough schedule, either.
Sure, the 8-8 Chargers will host the Colts this wild card weekend, but sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
The Patriots were 2-4 this season against teams that eventually made this year’s playoffs. They beat up on the JV (putting it mildly) NFC West, got embarrassed by the Dolphins at home,
We’ve watched Senor Hoodie out-coach the league all decade and this season may have been his most impressive masterpiece, gluing together an 11-5 season with a quarterback that had barely played since grade school, after losing the league MVP, the team leader on defense and almost everyone in between. The Pats finished the season on a four-game win streak, but the season is 16 games long for a reason. This time, it just wasn’t their turn for glory. And they weren’t screwed or stolen from and the league’s rules are just fine.
Sometimes you just have to tip you hat in admiration. This would be one of those times. Tony Sparano took a 1-15 football team and triumphed over the Foxboro favorites, starting in Week 3 by unveiling
This was the Dolphins year, folks. Chad Pennington fittingly beat the Jets in his final exam as the Pats could only sit and watch Favre and his miserable three-interception performance from their respective La-Z-Boys.
Of course it’s tough to swallow and pending Tom’s left knee, the dynasty may not be over. But be gracious, chowder fans.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Conflicting thoughts?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
NFL overtime inferior to college version
Overtime.
Unlike in the NFL, the NCAA gives each team a fair chance to actually win the game following 60 minutes of hard-fought football. What a novel idea. First, one team gets the ball on the 25-yard line, then the second team gets the ball on the – yup, you guessed it, the same 25-yard line on the same end of the field. It truly is an amazingly innovating phenomenon, isn’t it?
The Sunday version is a bit different. Winning the fifth-quarter coin toss is like winning Goodell’s short-term vesion of David Stern’s lottery. Unless you’re Matt Hasselbeck, say, “We want the ball and we’re going to score,” then throw a pick-six to Crystal Crowns’ favorite Packer, Al Harris to end your season. Or you’re former Lions head coach Marty Mornhinweg, win the toss, take the windless side of the field instead of the ball, watch Jim Miller and the Bears march down the field and win on a Paul Edinger field goal.
Of course, winning the overtime coin toss doesn’t guarantee you a victory. In fact, according to ESPN’s John Clayton, the team that wins the toss wins the game on the first OT possession less than 50 percent of the time. Still, I’ve seen it enough; what happened Thursday night shouldn’t be allowed to happen again.
The Jets-Patriots game was arguably the most exciting game of the season. Lifetime backup Matt (Tom Who?) Cassel leads
Then, the Jets win the toss, Favre nonchalantly leads them into field goal range and Jay Feely ends it with a 34-yard field goal.
Even for Jets fan, that had to be anti-climactic. It was like ending a Bond movie with an eyes-closed kiss and a bouquet of red roses. And yet, it didn’t compare to the stomach-aching finale that occurred three days later.
Ever seen a last-second Hail Mary after which nobody celebrates? It happens every once in a blue moon, a tad more often than safeties on back-to-back possessions, which happened here less than 24 hours before. Yes, I’m talking about a tie, a stalemate, words that make all competitors cringe worse than when Mark McGwire hears, “piss test.”
Sunday’s Bengals-Eagles matchup ended without a victor.
After 75 minutes of football the game ended how it began. The players were left unsatisfied, the fans were left even more unsatisfied; a pointless ending to a now-pointless game. Stalemates are for chess. Ties should only come in tic-tac-toe.
College football is far from perfect; the BCS is a joke and yet only half as laughable as the mere existence of the Papajohns.com Bowl. But the NCAA does have one ‘A’ on its midterm report card. Goodell should be asking for its notes.
Derek is a junior majoring in economics. Your thoughts on football’s overtime? Send them to dzetlin@badgerherald.com.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Penn State loss hurtful in so many ways
An entire begging sport.
Daniel Murray’s 31-yard field goal Saturday evening at
For one, it ruined
The Nittany Lions’ 81-year-old coach may have trouble spelling “BCS,” but what a story this would have been. Joe Paterno – in what many believe is his 43rd and final season as PSU’s head coach – is no longer able to stand on the
It also ruined the Big Ten’s chance for a savior.
After a pair of
Instead, the Big Ten will continue to be the laughing stalk of the gridiron galaxy, especially if PSU loses to USC in the Rose Bowl, a now-realistic possibility.
It gave life-support to an ailing BCS, bolstering an inferior system while lessening its chance of utter chaos and confusion.
With the loss,
Had
Every sports fan enjoys the David over Goliath defeats; they’re why games are decided between the painted white lines and not the Microsoft margins. But unless you reside in Gainesville, Fla., Norman, Okla. or anywhere in the Lonestar state,
Funny thing is, after
Talk about redemption. Too bad a life-changing success story ruined so much for everyone else.
Derek is a junior majoring in economics. Were you cheering when
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Loss of Brady, loss of words
There’s a reason we watch every Sunday. We feel like we’re part of the team, one of the guys. We yell, “fumble!” at the tv screen when the ball pops loose, and we ask the coach – by first name only, of course – what he was thinking with play action on third and one. But when you get to root for a superstar, a sure-thing Hall of Famer, like a Brett Favre, a Peyton Manning, a Tom Brady, it makes cheering that much better. Your heart skips a beat each week when the offense takes the field because you can’t wait for that perfect spiral, that first touchdown pass. Just watching from your couch, you’re on cloud nine.
Now, according to yahoo.com, Tom Brady is out for the season with a torn ACL, and I feel like I just had to put my dog to sleep.
And I’ve never had a dog.
No, I feel like my team just lost the Super Bowl, falling one game short of perfection. Oh wait, that was seven months ago.
This is even worse.
For seven seasons we’ve watched No. 12 drop back to pass, standing calmer than a midsummer breeze in the pocket, firing touchdown passes left and right. Mistakes were a rarity, while third down conversions were aplenty. Brady brought us three Super Bowl rings, an MVP trophy, one Super Bowl-less AFC Championship ring and a whole lot of oohs and ahhs. But now, like we said for 86 years before 2004 for our other beloved franchise, we’ll have to wait ‘til next year.
Melancholy? Yeah, that’s a start. Dejected? Sounds about right.
In football, injuries happen. It’s a physical sport. We just never thought this – the one thing that couldn’t possibly happen – would actually happen. We thought he was immortal. We laughed when he was listed as “probable” for dozens of consecutive games.
And now we want to cry. We took it for granted.
People outside of
But we know that’s not true. Ole Brett would still throw off his back foot – much like our formal signal caller Mr. Bledsoe – and chuck up floaters begging to get picked – like he did this afternoon, only somehow it was caught by a Jet in the end zone. And we knew that Brady was the best quarterback in the league before Moss and Wes Welker were served to him on a silver platter. We remember the David Patten, Troy Brown, David Givens days. Last year just made the playing field equal with Manning, only our golden boy blew him out of the water.
Brady always seemed to have the answer. He always made the right decision, which is what quarterback is really about. Comeback drives, late touchdowns, even scrambling for first downs, we saw it all from Tom. When they said he couldn’t throw the deep ball, he proved them wrong. When they said he was No. 2 to Manning, he proved them wrong again.
For seven seasons we’ve been spoiled, not just because of the wins and the division titles, but because of the experience, because watching Tom run the show brought smiles to our faces. We knew we were watching greatness.
The Belichick-Brady era has been a fantasy-like reality. But without Tom, it’s like Neverneverland without Peter Pan.
And I never want to grow up.
Cheeseheads, you’ll watch Aaron Rogers, but it won’t be the same. Bulls fans, has it been the same without MJ?
I still won’t miss a kickoff, but that sense of nostalgia will never cease, until I see Tom in the shotgun sometime in the way-too-distant future.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
School's around the corner: It's Badger Herald time!
Friday, August 15, 2008
No past, present, or future for terrible Texas Rangers
Since moving from
John Hart became the Rangers’ general manager after Doug Melvin (now Brewers GM) left the club in 2001.
It all started with a guy named Alex Rodriguez, whom the Rangers threw $252 million at in 2001. Fine, so you snag the game’s best player but it doesn’t exactly pan out. So three seasons later,
See, every baseball fan knows that for the past decade, the Rangers could hit the baseball. The bats of A-Rod, Hank Blalock, Michael Young, Mark Texiera, Milton Bradley, and Ian Kinsler – to name a few – have filled their rosters. But when Chan Ho Park is your best pitcher of the decade (fine, Kenny Rogers, maybe), you’re not going to win very many baseball games.
In 2005, Hart stepped down as
Today, the Rangers sit 15.5 games behind the Angels in the AL West. Why? Because the likes of Tommy Hunter (1.2 IP, 9 ER), Luis Mendoza (4 IP, 7 ER), and Scott Feldman (2.2 IP, 6 ER) made their last three starts against the Manny-less Red Sox. Saying that the Rangers have a lack of pitching is like saying Michael Phelps has a lack of body hair.
So last night, my grandfather turns to me and says, “If they’re so bad, why don’t the throw the young kids out there so they can get experience?”
“These are the young kids,” I chuckled. “This is their future.”
Seconds later, as Hunter was chased with one out in the second, my dad texted me: “WTF was that?!”
“Awful management,” I replied. “They’d be better off with Jeff Tardiff (my senior co-captain) out there.”
What makes matters even worse is that the Rangers A) Have so many good hitters that they could easily trade for some arms and B) Already traded away their best future arm! Daniels and friends (one of whom being Hart, who still holds a position in
Not me; I know offensive numbers don’t translate into W’s. Why doesn't Daniels understand that?
There seems to be no light at the end of this
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
From back stroke to butterfly: Phelps's swimming supremacy
The 23 year-old from
Calling him a gamer would be like calling Jessica Alba pretty. But apparently, those paid to comment on his mastery care more about an Aaron Rogers preseason screen pass than a man 14 time zones away representing their country: The United States of America.
This morning I turned on ESPN’s First Take as I ate my bowl of Crispix at the kitchen table. First question: Are you impressed with Michael Phelps?
I nearly spit out my crushed cereal/milk mixture. Is that even worth asking? What sports writer wouldn’t enjoy 6-foot-4 inches, 195 pounds of pure American muscle speeding past international foes like a porpoise among tuna?
Apparently three: All three on the show.
“Yeah, I guess I’m impressed,” said one of the Stewart brothers. “But at the end of the day, it’s just swimming. It’s not baseball, basketball, or football, so I can’t get too excited.” His brother sitting beside him agreed.
Since when was “sports” limited to those three games? And why are you a “sports” writer if you don’t even appreciate sport at its finest?
For 47 months out of every four years, I – like 99.9 percent of
Swimming requires everything a sport should: Endurance, athleticism, agility, and speed. Ever swim 50 meters of butterfly? Maybe you’ll appreciate Phelps a little more.
After I was ready throw my spoon at the television, Skip Bayless offered his two sense: “I couldn’t agree with you guys any more.” Bayless went on to explain that swimming is like a cult in which few kids partake growing up, making the pool (no pun intended) of athletes far less talented than that of say, basketball, thus making Phelps’s accomplishments well, mediocre.
So Brian Urlacher’s linebacker skills are less impressive because he doesn’t have to tackle LeBron James because The King decided to pursue the parquet and not the gridiron? Didn’t think so.
I’m not trying to put swimming at the level of the three above-mentioned sports. But this is the Olympics. Why watch if you only care about the Redeem Team? For three weeks, we get to watch fencing, gymnastics, and badminton as if we actually care. And you know what, it’s fun, if you actually like sports and real competition. These athletes compete not for money, but for love of the game. They train endlessly for four years for a brief chance to take on the world’s best. Who doesn’t appreciate that?
We marveled over Lance Armstrong and his dominance of the Tour de France. Why, because we were all cycling junkies? How are Phelps’s achievements any different?
So Skip and friends, if you want to discuss Brett Favre text messages and Jessica Simpson luxury box visits, that’s fine, but go write for Star Magazine. In the mean time, I’ll be watching real athletic competition, like Dara Torres’s immortality and Phelps’s quest for golds.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Manny move necessary for Sox success
In a Red Sox uniform, Manny was no longer being Manny; he had simply been a spoiled brat over the past two weeks, publicly ridiculing the organization that pays him $16 million to swing thirty-four inches of maple a dozen times a day.
Selfish. Just like his agent Scott Boras. Coincidence? Doubtful.
No, Manny never broke a sweat sprinting to first on routine grounders and never received an A for effort on anyone’ report card, but the smiles, the pointing, the boyish attitude, and oh, the home runs and RBIs were enough for us to shake our heads, smile, and look the other way.
But it finally got past the point of production. “The Red Sox don’t deserve me,” Manny told the media earlier this week, as he compared his situation to those of former Red Sox superstars Pedro Martinez and Manny’s new teammate in
Good comparison, Manny.
One player can never be bigger than the team. Unfortunately, that’s what unfolded along
Following Manny’s mockeries including a sign that read, “Trade me to Green Bay for Brett Favre straight up,” what kind of message would keeping him send to his teammates, players like Kevin Youkilis (the same Kevin Youkilis that Ramirez slapped in the dugout weeks ago) who put their heart and soul into every pitch night-in and night-out?
Not one that I’d like to divulge.
So now the Red Sox are stuck with
Yeah, Bay for Manny is a sixty cents on the dollar type of trade, but since there was a good chance that that dollar was on the verge of becoming more worthless than a Charles Barkley golf lesson, dumping Manny became inescapable.
My issues with the deal don’t revolve around the departure of the future Hall of Famer. My issues revolve around everyone else involved. Why did
It’s like getting your wallet stolen, then sending the culprit your ipod in the mail.
The Dodgers only sent two prospects to had a future in
In terms of the rest of the season for
Plus, the Yankees are coming! The Yankees are coming! Four years ago, I’d end this column with, “Here we go again.”
Today, I’m at a loss of words and answers.
So I’ll just shrug and end it with: ?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
End is near for Red Sox-Ramirez relationship
For seven-plus seasons the Boston Red Sox have been unhappily dating superstar left fielder Manny Ramirez. It’s been a roller coaster-esque relationship highlighted by two world championships, but ultimately the Sox have played the role of the overprotective boyfriend for too long. Since his arrival in Beantown, Manny has been the girlfriend that doesn’t treat you right, but you’re too scared to call it quits, for fear of her being happy with someone else.
Oh, but they’ve tried.
Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein has tried to part ways with his Latino luminary on countless occasions. Seemingly every offseason Manny trade talks simmer on the hot stove and just before every July 31 trade deadline, Manny says he’s unhappy, Epstein toys with shopping him, but he always ends up with BOSTON sprawled across his chest. In October of 2003, Epstein even placed Ramirez on waivers, daring anyone – even the rival Yankees – to claim him. Of course, no one did, and a year later Manny was named World Series MVP after the Red Sox were crowned champions of the baseball universe following a painful 86-year drought.
His mental state is as stable as Ruben Studdard on a tightrope, but there’s no doubting his talent or production. Every season you can count on Manny hitting .300, belting 35 homers, driving in 120 runs, and slugging .550. He’s an underrated outfielder with an above-average arm and a mastery of playing the monster that looms behind him. After his “I’m sick of them; they’re sick of me” comments late last week, it’s clear that Manny is tired of being Manny in Boston. But even when his hose are in a bunch, Manny still produces, as evidenced by his performances over the past two nights (5-10, HR, 5 RBIs).
So what’s the problem? Why has this unhealthy marriage taken a spin for the worst, again?
I can understand the Red Sox’s frustration. Since signing his $160 million contract in 2000, Ramirez has been treated like royalty (or Pedro Martinez, perhaps?) in Boston. He’s faked injuries, dogged it in the outfield, refused to pinch hit on days off, stood in the batter’s box on groundballs, missed a pitch while relieving himself in the Green Monster, jogged-out double play balls, rolled over a stagnant post-fly ball after diving and missing by feet, dove to cut-off a Johnny Damon relay throw from center, badmouthed the organization…
For seven-plus seasons, Red Sox management has turned the other cheek on Ramirez’s infantile behavior simply because of what he can do while standing left of home plate. But that last slip-up mentioned in that laundry list of Manny-isms, was the last straw. The line has finally been crossed. It’s time for Manny to go.
It’s obvious why the Red Sox want to breakup with their superstar slugger: They’ve had enough of his shenanigans. But what I can’t seem to understand is why Manny is so adamant about a uniform change all of a sudden. Like I said, Manny has gotten away with baseball murder since he put a down payment on his Ritz Carlton apartment. We know he hates the Boston media, but why, out of the blue, is Manny, a man so indifferent, so nonchalant about life itself, so angry?
Ramirez is in the eighth year of a ten-year contract with two $20 million, one-year team options in 2009 and 2010. Perhaps it stems from his agent, Scott Boras, baseball’s green-seeking bad guy who still pickpockets grade schoolers in southern California ice cream parlors. Boras was not Manny's agent at the time of the signing and would love to stir up controversy for a subsequent restructured contract with a new ballclub.
Feasible? Yes. But because Manny has been reluctant to be controversial (at least vocally) in eight seasons in Boston, I find it hard to believe that Boras has puppeteered his client into crying like a six-year old in the aisle of Toys R Us.
Then, what is it, you ask? Why doesn’t Manny want to play in front of the Fenway Faithful anymore?
Like Joe Paterno said Thursday: I. Don’t. Know.
What I do know, however is that the Red Sox have some decisions to make. The majority of Red Sox Nation wants their once happy-go-lucky left fielder to stay, as seen by the plethora of “Don’t Trade Manny” posters held up in Fenway last evening. They love the home runs, the entertainment. The organization? They, like me, appreciate the game being played the right way. The way the Los Angeles Angels, not Ramirez, play ball.
Because of his sheer production at the plate, a trade for Ramirez of equal value before Thursday’s trade deadline seems wildly unlikely. If the Rockies could package lefty closer Brian Fuentes and last year’s NL MVP runner-up Matt Holliday in a deal for Manny, I’d do it. If the White Sox sent outfielder Jermaine Dye and shortstop Orlando Cabrera – a vital piece of the 2004 Red Sox championship club – to Boston, I’d do that, too. But both seem incredibly unrealistic at this point.
What sounds more practical to me is for Manny to finish out the year in a Red Sox uniform. Next year, he’ll probably head home, where he can rock baggy pinstripes in a brand new ballpark.
As for this year, I foresee a change of events on Aug. 3, while I’m sitting in Fenway Park. I foresee a Ramirez walk-off bouncing single up the middle off Oakland closer Houston Street. In a postgame interview, Manny will announce with a smile: “This is where I want to play!” and everyone will cheer as if Ted Williams had risen from the dead.
From my crystal ball? Not exactly. More like déjà vu.
Yeah, we’ve seen that one before.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
All about fun for 81 year-old Paterno

Today I sat in front of an 81 year-old man and could do nothing but smile. Like a… college football fan who just met Joe Paterno for the first time. No analogy needed; that’s what happened with me today at the Big Ten Media Days in
This morning I sat in a conference room with a hundred some-odd Big Ten media members and listened to every Big Ten football coach talk about their respective programs. A room full of football dorks counting the days until Aug. 30th, when the first whistles will be blown and the first flags will be thrown.
But believe it or not, no one in that room full of gridiron junkies was more excited than ole Joe Pa. Why? Because for him, football is fun. No other reason necessary.
That, I envy.
There are plenty of people who become investment bankers who do it for the money, not for love of the game. But how many sports writers do you know hate sports? We get paid to write about what every guy talks about in bars, at the dinner table, and on the treadmill.
Some people forget that.
I don’t.
When Paterno addressed the media, five-inch thick glasses and all, he was bombarded by questions as if he were President Bush informing the nation that we are going to war with
Paterno made it clear that he was sick of getting asked if it was his final season or when he plans to retire. But of course, people asked anyway.
“I. Don’t. Know!” Paterno answered deliberately. “Do you want me to spell it out for you? I-D-O-N-T…”
Everyone laughed except the moron who asked the question. Most people did so because they think the old man is senile. Yeah, he mumbled, stumbled, and slurred his words. But I get it. The man loves his job. Now what the hell is wrong with that?
In a world filled with advertisements, sponsors, and money-grubbing agents, we could all learn a thing or two from a guy who works for the right reasons.
“What has to happen this season, Joe for you to know it’s time to go?” moron No. 2 asked.
“There are no parameters,” Paterno answered in frustration. “Now, I'm just having fun. I’ll know when it’s time. We could lose ten games by 15 points each, and I could say we were one play away. I. Don’t. Know.”
I mentioned he was 81, right?
After Paterno finished, I walked into the corridor to go to the bathroom, where I found dozens of grown men waving their microphones at coaches, players, and ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit, as if they were trading on the Wall Street floor. I smiled, talked to Herbstreit calmly about the Badgers when things calmed down, and went on with my business, all the while wishing one day I can be as happy and excited at 81 as Joe Pa.
Yeah, I want answers, too. I want to know who will be under center for Wisconsin a month from now. But life is too short to take too seriously. We get paid to talk about spread offenses and non-conference schedules. We should only be so unfortunate.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Questions for Big Ten coaches?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Yankee fans make rivalry bigger than game itself

But apparently the
The Red Sox-Yankees rivalry is undoubtedly the most coveted rivalry in all of professional sports. And being part of it makes baseball even that much more exciting. But sometimes – like last night – the game, baseball, is bigger than any hand-crafted subplot you can fathom.
Last night’s Midsummer Classic was supposed to be classy, filled with Hall of Famers who live, breath, respect, and understand the game.
The Yankee faithful failed to recognize the latter two.
Don’t get me wrong; I’ve been known to chant “Yankees Suck!” from time to time within the Fenway confines. I own the t-shirt and I expect the favor returned within The House that Ruth Built.
But last night wasn’t the time. Or place.
A parade for the players. The Star-Spangled Banner. A pre-game ceremony honoring baseball’s living legends in
Like trying to fit the square block in the round hole.
Francona deliberately substituted Joe Crede for A-Rod and Michael Young for Jeter solely so they could receive standing ovations from the Bronx Bomber buffs. The pinstripe aficionados went nuts as their closer trotted toward the mound to the tune of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman.” Why? Because Tito – the manager of the enemy – set the stage, yanking K-Rod, the league’s save leader, with one out in the ninth.
But an inning earlier came the entrance of Boston closer Jonathan Papelbon, who told the media that he believed he should get the ball in a save situation instead of Rivera. So, in a 2-2 ballgame in the top of the eighth, Yankee Stadium erupted with boos aimed at the Red Sox righty. Chants of “O-VER-RATED!” filled the air as Pap came to the set. Booing for their own team, the American League.
Ignorance.
After a Miguel Tejada bloop single to right, a Dioner Navarro throwing error moved him to third and an Adrian Gonzalez sac fly plated the Astros shortstop. 3-2 NL. An unearned run.
More boos. More ignorance.
I can understand the home crowd booing Manny, Youkilis, and the like during introductions. Under the circumstances, I disagree with them, but I can understand them, for I know the same would happen in Beantown – although I wouldn’t participate. But to boo Papelbon in that situation – despite his self-promoting, anti-Yankee comments – is ridiculous, for once a year, those who slurp clam chowder and those who devour the largest of pizza slices root for the same team.
Except when they’re too proud to deal with it.