Monday, September 13, 2010

Diarrhea of the Mind, Episode 5: Thoughts From Week 1

This week is my last week of training at Coyote, meaning it’s the last time I can justify fucking around during lunch instead of trying to book hot loads of freight (perhaps I’ll cue you in on some industry jargon in a future post).

So since all I can think about it football, now seems like an appropriate time for Diarrhea of the Mind, NFL style…

Jesus Christ, Arian Foster. I just drafted in two new keeper leagues; how the hell did I not draft him in either? God damnit, Tyler Fishbune and Jeff Park.

At least I drafted Matt Forte in the fifth round of my Bro Haus league.

Speaking of the Bears, as much as I wanted them to lose, Calvin Johnson’s “catch” was not a catch. It’s like the Tuck Rule; it’s a shitty rule and it should have been a touchdown (and eight more fantasy points for me against Danny Sullivan), but based on the rule that’s written, it was the right call. How hard would it have been to keep two hands on the ball? Come on, man!

Are the Redskins for real or did the Cowboys just suck? Didn’t watch; I was too busy getting my wallet, credit card, debit card, license, cell phone, boxers and new Coyote t-shirt stolen from the gym. Yeah, awesome night. At least he spared me my iPod.

Along those same lines, what the hell happened in Seattle? Are the Seahawks actually going to contend in the NFC West? Sure looks that way after 60 minutes of football.

Man the Pats looked good. The Bengals didn’t even show up, but boy Tom Brady reminded me of his 2007 version. Jets next week; oh baby!

Speaking of the Patriots, does Randy Moss really need to go on a 16-minute rant about his contract after embarrassing Cincy at home? Just play, Randy; your agent will take care of the rest. That’s why he gets a percentage of your salary, homie.

The Texans really scored 34 points and Matt Schaub only threw for 107 yards? Oh yeah, Foster.

How much did Vegas clean up on that game, by the way? Colts -2 at Houston. Is this the year of the Sucker Bet?

I’m tied with Bill Simmons (6-6-2) heading into the Monday Night games. Come on, Ravens!
OK, Michael Vick. As much of a thug as he is, man is he fun to watch.

Twelve-of-25, no touchdowns, two picks, one fumble for Mark Sanchez tonight. Did I mention I was rooting for the Ravens?


Anonymous said...

YVegas won this Colts sucker bet.. too bad it doesn't make up the money they lost last year on the 8 "Colts sucker bets". The law of averages always kicks in....

-a former Bro-ookie

Anonymous said...

I dont get why so many ppl think that CJ's obvious TD was the right call but a bad rule. I still dont see that. He caught the ball, landed and had it secured and the process of the catch was over, he then started to get up when his hand hit the ground which is a "2nd act" so even by the NFL's stupid language it still could have and should have been ruled a catch. How long do you need to possess the ball before the play is over? When is the process of the catch over? Its all ambiguous. And anyone with half a brain knows that it was obviously a toucchdown by the common sense test...ROBBERY!

-A bitter Lions fan